As a coach and consultant in the legal and leadership development space, I have found that invariably, everyone who holds any kind of position of authority has journeyed through a work situation (or two . . . or more) that may have left them feeling wounded.
I believe our wounds not only make us stronger but should make us wiser too. You can actually,
Make Your Wounds Your Wisdom
Perhaps you have experienced the pain of:
- Having to prove your value every.single.step of your career.
- Being held back, undermined and undervalued for years, while watching others receive promotions, clients, and compensation you were due.
- Being lied about and having your reputation sullied by someone in power holding a grudge.
These are the kind of wounds the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” emanate from. Can you relate?
The best definition I know for wisdom is this:
Wisdom is knowledge applied.
The great thing about wisdom is that it is not dependent on age, skill, or intellect.
Once you have gone through a life event that left you feeling wounded, you could either shrink, wither or escape within yourself by disengaging from people and things you love and enjoy.
Or you can choose to thrive and make your wounds your wisdom.
If you choose the latter, that wisdom gained will forever be in service to you and by extension to others in a very powerful way.
For example, once you have journeyed through the pain of a devastating professional experience, take time to ascertain what happened:
- Think about the signs you may have seen in the communications of your bosses or colleagues. Were there clues early on in the working relationship you missed?
- Do they have a pattern of failing to create positive, healthy relationships with former employees or refer to them ALL as ungrateful and disloyal?
- Do they have a questionable reputation within your professional community in general?
Once you have done the work of piecing together what went wrong, you can extract the nuggets of wisdom along the way and use them to help and mentor others.
- Pay attention to the reputations of firm leaders you will be working with. Don’t ignore and dismiss negative experiences others have had.
- Don’t ignore signs along the way in emails or conversations that seem odd or a bit off. When something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.
- When you are being passed over for promotions or raises and not given credit for work you performed, speak up early and often. Advocate as powerfully for yourself as you would for your client.
These are 3 powerful ways you can make your wounds your wisdom!
If you have had a professional experience that left you feeling wounded, reply back and let me know. My Rapid Clarity Coaching Process can help you transform your wounds into your wisdom.
About Lakeshia Ekeigwe
Lakeshia facilitates deeply transformative coaching experiences for lawyers, law firms, corporations, universities and municipalities based on the principles of emotional intelligence, personal development, and self-awareness. She specializes in coaching and consulting women lawyers from a whole person perspective so they not only have successful careers but experience happy, thriving personal lives as well.