Safeguarding our Family Values

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In a conversation with an Elderly woman sometime last week, I realized how much and passionate some people revere their heritage and culture. The argument was all about if children should adopt their native dialect as their primary language. I remember watching a TV show , where Barister Femi Falana recalled an experience he had with the Late Gani Fawehinmi about how the later reproved the former’s daughter for answering his call speaking Yoruba, and how the incidence consequently led to forbidding English as an official language in Falana’s home. That is by the way, our main focus is to examine how well and how necessary Family values should be upheld.

Family values involve all of the ideas of how you want to live your family life, and they are often passed down from previous generations. They can help define behavior in various situations, help youth make good choices, and solidify the bond that your family has. If your family doesn’t already have these values in place, know that it is never too late to make a list.

These values are in different forms and could vary from family to family and it is best you determine which way your family would want to adopt. Sitting down as a family and coming up with a list of values can seem like a discouraging task. However, know that there is not one right way to come up with your list. Start by calling a family meeting and getting input from each family member. Know that it may take several meeting sessions to get all the thoughts down. However, in the end, you’ll have a list that truly reflects your family. The following tips should help you develop a list that you and your kids can stand by:

  • Consider writing a mission statement that addresses your core family value, whether it be peacefully resolving conflict, being kind and loyal or working hard.
  • Talk about your family. What things are most important to your family? What are the strengths of your family? What words or phrases best describe your family?
  • Write down everything. You can always go back and narrow the list later. The first session is about brainstorming.
  • Allow everyone to think about it for a while before reconvening to agree on a list.
  • Stick to ten major ideas. Your final list can have more or less, but ten is a workable number to aim for without being overwhelming.
  • Display your list. Hang your values list up somewhere where it will be seen every day.
  • Refer to the list when things happen. Use your family’s list of values as a teaching tool.
  • Rewrite as necessary. The list may grow and evolve over time, just as your family changes.
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