My Parents Will Do It For Me’ Syndrome, A Destructive Tendency In Today’s Children

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Rapheal Adeyemi

If you recall, sometimes back on this column we had discussed what I termed as destructive tendencies in today’s children. Like I wrote there and then that humans are generally strongest and exposed to faster learning as children; failure to act on the areas of possible restlessness and strength at that stage of life is what I term as syndrome. Here is another syndrome titled ‘my parents will do it for me’.

‘My Parents Will Do It For Me’:

Thank God for the parents of today and thank God that you have one. Appreciate your parents, cherish them, take instructions from them, obey them, rely on them for certain kinds of support within this your age bracket but total dependence on them to do EVERYTHING for you is not only limiting but also destructive. The earlier you began to carry out certain responsibilities independent of your parents though with their supervisions and counselling today, the better for you in life and destiny.

Straight Talk to Parents:

Dear parents, the earlier you began to push certain responsibilities to your fast growing children, particularly those that often do show interest in certain areas of responsibilities the better. Truth is that the more you believe the child isn’t of age and has to be taken care of, the more the child remains a child and would need to be catered for, for the rest of their life.

Why Do You Need To Make Your Child Responsibly Early?

While your baby began to learn how to sit, did you attempt to stop the baby? I’m sure you, instead of dissuading such a baby, you did all within your capacities to aid the process. You even went ahead to get a ‘babysitter’ to help out. What about the stage of learning to walk? You didn’t stop that I’m sure but instead bought a ‘walker’ to speed up the process. If your children must meet up the challenges of the jet age, every effort must be made to help them grow on their own with your supervision and not inhibit growth in any capacity. Let me share few with you

  • How long more do you think you still have to stay with children? You don’t determine that but God. Train your kids to take control of their lives early to be able to continue life with or without you.
  • You don’t control destiny. Your current status might change. Allow your children to take control early so that your limitation in life will not hinder the speed of their journey to destiny.
  • You never can tell where their destinies are. Your children might find themselves beyond your immediate reach such that you can easily help out or take charge. Would you prefer your children returning from Europe because you aren’t around to provide covering during the winter? My sarcadelic cousin found himself in Europe and so had to take up some menial jobs to help himself. This was contrary to his expectations.
  • Your children might ultimately end up working under or with people. What is inculcated in them in the formative years would be necessary to push them through workplace and the associated challenges.
  • Your children might likely take over from you but have you built in them better skills, courage and resilience that would be required to push through businesses particularly at challenging period?

The reasons as to why you should allow a measure of independence for your fast growing child are almost endless. Let me share some of the inappropriate acts of parents that I’ve seen.

  • A parent not allowing their children fix their bed early in the morning because there are house helps around being paid to do such is destructive. Such, growing to become a woman would need to engage the services of the house help to fix her matrimonial bed and might lose the husband to same house help.
  • There are parents that will insist that their teenage girl children are too young to make egg or prepare little dishes. This is also destructive. Such a girl would grow to become KFC wives and will lose the home to the club houses.
  • How old is your male child? Does he attempt to clean your cars? You are sure not developing your kids to becoming a ‘car washerman’ but such is often required to build the muscles. Let them wash your cars, clean the interior, fix your deflated tires and such as early as possible. Let them go refill the gas cylinder, fix some simple electric faults in the house when they show interest and stop shouting, don’t kill yourself and such.
  • How often do you allow them take a walk to get few things in the neighbouring supermarket? That’s why many of them are ‘obess’. They eat uncontrollably but do not burn off the excess energy so you are destroying them health wise. Besides, little buy here and there exposes children to the art of negotiation and business transaction.
  • How early do you think is appropriate to introduce them to money making ventures? If you are in business, how often particularly during the holidays do you get them involved in the business? You sure have some investments for them but do they know what investment is all about? If you train your children to think that money grows on trees or that my parents will always give me money whenever I need some, they will not only sell your assets in years to come but most likely will sell you as the parent to generate money for themselves. After all, my parents will always get me some money.

The discussions continue next week.

– RAPHAEL ADEYEMI

 

If you recall, sometimes back on this column we had discussed what I termed as destructive tendencies in today’s children. Like I wrote there and then that humans are generally strongest and exposed to faster learning as children; failure to act on the areas of possible restlessness and strength at that stage of life is what I term as syndrome. Here is another syndrome titled ‘my parents will do it for me’.

‘My Parents Will Do It For Me’:

Thank God for the parents of today and thank God that you have one. Appreciate your parents, cherish them, take instructions from them, obey them, rely on them for certain kinds of support within this your age bracket but total dependence on them to do EVERYTHING for you is not only limiting but also destructive. The earlier you began to carry out certain responsibilities independent of your parents though with their supervisions and counselling today, the better for you in life and destiny.

Straight Talk to Parents:

Dear parents, the earlier you began to push certain responsibilities to your fast growing children, particularly those that often do show interest in certain areas of responsibilities the better. Truth is that the more you believe the child isn’t of age and has to be taken care of, the more the child remains a child and would need to be catered for, for the rest of their life.

Why Do You Need To Make Your Child Responsibly Early?

While your baby began to learn how to sit, did you attempt to stop the baby? I’m sure you, instead of dissuading such a baby, you did all within your capacities to aid the process. You even went ahead to get a ‘babysitter’ to help out. What about the stage of learning to walk? You didn’t stop that I’m sure but instead bought a ‘walker’ to speed up the process. If your children must meet up the challenges of the jet age, every effort must be made to help them grow on their own with your supervision and not inhibit growth in any capacity. Let me share few with you.

  • How long more do you think you still have to stay with children? You don’t determine that but God. Train your kids to take control of their lives early to be able to continue life with or without you.
  • You don’t control destiny. Your current status might change. Allow your children to take control early so that your limitation in life will not hinder the speed of their journey to destiny.
  • You never can tell where their destinies are. Your children might find themselves beyond your immediate reach such that you can easily help out or take charge. Would you prefer your children returning from Europe because you aren’t around to provide covering during the winter? My sarcadelic cousin found himself in Europe and so had to take up some menial jobs to help himself. This was contrary to his expectations.
  • Your children might ultimately end up working under or with people. What is inculcated in them in the formative years would be necessary to push them through workplace and the associated challenges.
  • Your children might likely take over from you but have you built in them better skills, courage and resilience that would be required to push through businesses particularly at challenging period?

 

The reasons as to why you should allow a measure of independence for your fast growing child are almost endless. Let me share some of the inappropriate acts of parents that I’ve seen.

  • A parent not allowing their children fix their bed early in the morning because there are house helps around being paid to do such is destructive. Such, growing to become a woman would need to engage the services of the house help to fix her matrimonial bed and might lose the husband to same house help.
  • There are parents that will insist that their teenage girl children are too young to make egg or prepare little dishes. This is also destructive. Such a girl would grow to become KFC wives and will lose the home to the club houses.
  • How old is your male child? Does he attempt to clean your cars? You are sure not developing your kids to becoming a ‘car washerman’ but such is often required to build the muscles. Let them wash your cars, clean the interior, fix your deflated tires and such as early as possible. Let them go refill the gas cylinder, fix some simple electric faults in the house when they show interest and stop shouting, don’t kill yourself and such.
  • How often do you allow them take a walk to get few things in the neighbouring supermarket? That’s why many of them are ‘obess’. They eat uncontrollably but do not burn off the excess energy so you are destroying them health wise. Besides, little buy here and there exposes children to the art of negotiation and business transaction.
  • How early do you think is appropriate to introduce them to money making ventures? If you are in business, how often particularly during the holidays do you get them involved in the business? You sure have some investments for them but do they know what investment is all about? If you train your children to think that money grows on trees or that my parents will always give me money whenever I need some, they will not only sell your assets in years to come but most likely will sell you as the parent to generate money for themselves. After all, my parents will always get me some money.

 

The discussions continue next week.

 

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